Humor

Oh No He Didn’t!

I am the kind of person who likes to plan things out.  However, I do have a side that just loves to do something on the spur of the moment, too.  Usually in search of laughter!  I’m not so rigid that life passes me by while I sort out details to the ‘nth degree, yet on the flip side I don’t throw caution to the wind on a regular basis.  Yet, through all of this, I am still quite an ornery girl to say the least.  Again, all in search of a great laugh.

Through the years I’ve have worked hard to go from an A++ personality to a somewhat comfortable B+/A- depending on the day!  This is much to my family’s urging to “lighten up a little, geez!”

On a positive side, being married to a person who was most definitely NOT a spur of the moment kind of guy, I have been able to bring some lighthearted fun into his life as well.  So when we witnessed the event I will share below, I’m not sure that my pulling him out of his  shell was necessarily a good thing.  You’ll see what I mean.

A few years back we took a vacation beginning in Florida at Universal Studios, met up with friends and shared a huge condo at Outer Banks a week,  and added a quick weekend stop in Maryland to visit my hubby’s cousins on our way back to Ohio.  Since we are three only children, we let our daughter take along her friend.

The girls were 12.  You know the age, everything a parent does or says is quite ridiculous!  Though we, as the parents, did our very best to behave ourselves and didn’t embarrass them too much.  Well, at least that’s our story!  Until we got to Maryland.  Ahem…..

The four of us were doing a little shopping at a retail store.  We had been in the store for a while and were about to leave.  Apparently, one of us had become bored.  This person either decided to get a little adventurous or lost their flippin’ mind!  Mind you, the one who decided to do this little deed, is not the spontaneous, ornery, silly one in the pair.  So to see what happened next, still brings laughter to the three of us at the very mention or sight of this particular object anywhere today.

The three of us girls in the group were making our way to the register area to exit the store.  The male in the group had been lingering in this area for way too long.  Obviously!  You’ll see.

As we approach the area, we are still sort of shopping as we pass the tables at the front filled with merchandise.  Then all at once we hear a snap, a gasp from another direction and this little statement coming from the male we are now wishing was not with us… “I think it’s broke,” as he hands her the broken chair.

Ya think?

The facial expression on the teen cashier was priceless.  Here is a grown man, trying to sit in a child’s resin chair that was sitting by the register. Her mouth is hanging down far enough she could catch flies. She just looks at us without a word.

We left the store and I look back at the two 12 year olds behind me.  Yeah, they wanted to crawl into any hole and die.  Nobody has said a word.

We get to the car, climb in and close the doors.  The male in the car starts to giggle and then says, “Hmm, I guess I’m too big for that chair.”

Genius!

We then just laugh.  What in the world was he thinking?  Why on earth would he, the logical one, even TRY to fit an adult booty into a child’s chair?  Oh. My!

To this day, when we see a child’s resin chair, the daughter or I will quickly say, “NO, don’t even think about it.”  This makes people look at us rather strange wondering why we have to tell a grown man why he cannot sit in that little, itty bitty chair!  If they only knew….

Am I trying to tell you not to be spontaneous?  No way!  I think the lesson learned here would be this:  spontaneous is great, but maybe a little assessment of the end result might be wise.  Especially when you are with your teenagers who just may die of embarrassment!

…and that’s all I have to say about that!

Tammy

Food Friday!

Lately our schedule around here has been rather wacky!  Anyone out there that can relate?  Yep, I see lots of raised hands, shaking heads and loud Yes’s being spoken.

Though I have been buying fruits and veggies with great intentions of actually using them, sometimes they start getting puny and I panic at the thought of throwing them away.  Never fear, I have a way of saving those sad little fruits from going to the trash can.  Back in cooking school, I learned from my fav teacher, Carla, a recipe for a rustic tart.  I’m not normally a baker-mainly because I like more salty foods than sugary foods as you’ve read about before!  However, I remembered this tart and decided that’s what I’m going to do when my fruit starts to take a dive.

Oh – side note, this fav teacher has a link posted on Facebook today to her remodeled kitchen that was posted recently on another person’s website.  You just have to check out this kitchen.  THIS would make me play in there all day!   http://www.thekitchn.com/theki
tchn/kitchen-tours/cookbook-author-carla-snyders-warm-white-kitchen-kitchen-tour-156670

Back to the rustic tart!  That could possibly be a title to a book…The Rustic Tart and Where She Lives!
Ok, way off subject.  Don’t know what got into me – I don’t usually do that!  Ha!
I’ve come up with a quick recipe to be able to save the puny fruit.  I’m not a fan of the show on TV from the “Sort of from Scratch” lady because I’m also not a fan of processed, packaged foods,  but due to hubby’s massage schedule at our office lately, I have realized that the Pillsbury Pie Dough in the dairy case is close enough to a real made-from-scratch pie dough.  And I’m thinking my fav teacher would at least be proud that I’m using up the fruits to not bust the food budget.
I’ve adapted a quick version to be able to pop this in the oven while dinner is served so you can enjoy at the end of the meal.  Though the original version isn’t that much different, except for the fresh pie crust. I hope you will give it a try.  On a day with more time, make your own crust–it’s not that hard and it really is delicious.  Feel free to e-mail me if you’d like a great recipe that always turns out.  Where do you think I got it?  Yep – from the lady who owns that beautiful kitchen on the link above!
Finished product from a couple weeks ago

What I used:
     About 2-3 cups of fruit (whatever is heading south–cleaned and cut into bite-sized bites)
     About 1 TB of flour
     About 1 TB of sugar
     1/4 cup of Apricot Jam, warmed in microwave to thin for easy brushing onto tart
     1 Pie Crust Round
            **I say about 1 TB of flour and sugar as it depends on how much fruit you actually
                have.  You are looking for just enough to cover the fruit lightly with not too much
                left over.
Flour and sugar not tossed yet, just so you see how little is needed
1.  Mix the fruit with the flour and sugar.  Toss well and set aside.

2.  On a sheet pan, lined with a Sil-pat or parchment paper, unroll your pie crust.  I brush a little of the thinned jam on the crust.  Then pour fruit mixture on top, stopping about 1″ away from edge. (Hint:  If you are not going to make your own pie crust, please use Pillsbury…this was a store brand and ripped apart really easy-ugh!)

3.   Then go around the tart and fold up the edge of the pie crust over the fruit.  It will form a frame around the fruit and the center will be exposed. (See all the tears from the cheap crust…learn from my mistake…don’t buy the store brand!!!)
4.  Brush on the warmed jam, which is like a glaze.
5.  Bake at 350* degrees for about 40 minutes.  Check after 30 minutes as you don’t want your crust to burn.  
Take out, and let cool for a couple minutes before slicing. (This never makes it at my house…remember reading posts before about the sugar-head I live with?)
Serve with homemade whipped cream or a good Vanilla ice cream.
Great to serve to guests!  They will be impressed and you don’t have to give away your secret.  What’s the secret?  They are eating a store bought crust filled with fruit heading for the trash!
Did I just say that out loud?
…and that’s all I have to say about that!
Tammy
PS:  Let me know if you try this at home!  I’m sure your family will “rise up, bless you and praise you” (adaption of Proverbs 31:28!)

What A Strange Looking Bride…..A Little Manly Actually!

Last Monday, September 12th, my hubby and I celebrated our 30th Anniversary.  Hooray for us!  With both of us being only children, many of our friends and family had doubts that two spoiled, only children would be able to make it work.  Did I ever tell you I love a challenge?  Another post…another day!

I was looking at our wedding pictures and recalling the events of the day.  Yes, I really can remember much of the day from start to finish.  I was looking at my dress, the bargain of the event, and it brought to mind a funny story about my dress.

Back in 1990, our Adult Sunday School class had a class event.  We decided to do a night of “Let’s Make a Deal.”  Do any of you reading this remember that show?   It was a show on TV where Bob Barker would ask for an item, usually weird like a white plastic fork, and then deal with the folks for hidden items on stage.  It was pretty funny.

Part of the show was to be dressed up in such a way to get Bob’s attention as well.  He may be struck by your outfit and just come up and try to wheel and deal with you just because you caught his eye.  Such was the case for our class.  We ALL had to come dressed up, toting a bag of dealing items.  We had a “Bob Barker” named Ray, and a beautiful stage assistant named Brenda!

Well, the hubster and I couldn’t decide what we were going to dress up as for the event, but we kept on thinking.  One day, I had an idea but I just knew he wouldn’t go along with it.  I pitched it anyway.  Boy was I surprised!  He not only went along with he, he elaborated on it!  We decided to go as a bride and groom.  One difference.  He was the bride and I was the groom!

We dropped our daughter off at my Mom’s who lived by the church and we decided to get dressed there.  My Mom took pictures (see below) so I have proof that my hubby can wear a bridal gown quite well!
As we were on the front porch taking pictures, people would go by and honk, then do a double take.  It wasn’t quite the Bride and Groom they thought were standing there posing!  But it gets better….

Since my hubby’s legs were quite wrapped up in the train on my dress, I drove us to the church.  On the expressway it all began.  As I’m driving, I look up in the rearview mirror and see two young girls, maybe late teens early twenties and they realized that there is a “bride” in the car so they whip around and come up on the driver’s side of the car and slow down.  They are all smiling and waving and honking the horn and I wave.  Then my hubby leans forward, turns their way, smiles and waves at them, too.  As you will notice in the photo, the hubster’s face was, well, a little fuzzier than probably most brides would have been.  Both girls’ mouths dropped.  They slowly stopped waving and put their hands down.  The driver guns it and takes off.  The two of us in our car start busting out laughing.  And there’s more…

We arrive at the church.  We attend a large church, but the old part of the church is where they do weddings, in fact where we were married 30 years ago.  That happens to also be the parking lot we were parking in to go to the area where our class was meeting.  Then it happened.

We got out of the car. I help hubby “fix” himself as he has, um, filled out the bodice part of his dress and he’s a little lopsided if you know what I mean.  As we finish adjusting everything we notice two sweet little old ladies get out of their car.  We realized that they are going to the real wedding that will be happening and it’s obvious they are not from the bride’s side of the family.  They were walking together, arm in arm and had stopped to see the precious, sweet bride.  They waved at me and smiled and were waiting for the bride to come around the car.  And he did.

The look on their faces was priceless.  Both their mouths dropped clear to the asphalt!  Their eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets.  Then as quickly as they made the faces, they closed their mouths, huddled close together and scurried quickly off to the church entrance, stopping once to look back to check it out just one more time!

I nearly wet my pants!  The hubby smiled and looked at me and said, “I guess I’m not what they thought the groom would marry?”

We were both laughing so hard as we went in to the class event.  Since we didn’t actually walk in together, many weren’t sure who the bride was and kept looking at him.  Some of the new folks in the class were wondering since he fit the dress so well, if there was something they needed to know about this guy in the wedding dress!  Ahem, cough.

I still have the dress in it’s white bag after 30 years.  The side seam on the right is split a little as the “bride” that borrowed it back in 1990 was a little broader than I was.  Yet, it would be hard to get rid of the dress that has a double day memory!

The “lovely” Bride and Groom!
Nice dress, Ma’am..er…Sir?!

Yet it goes to show you that you just can’t judge a book by it’s cover.  Or a bride!
…and that’s all I have to say about that!
Tammy