I was asked recently by several people where do I get this stuff and how long does it take me to write up a blog post.  First of all – all around me is stuff that I view and somehow mentally record in my big fat head.  Not on purpose you see, but apparently it was noticed when I was younger by my family doctor that I remembered stuff well.   Dr. Karam did a little test on me in his office and then promptly told my Mom – “Yes, it’s like I suspected. Tammy here has what we call a photographic memory, so I would watch what you say or do as she will most likely remember it!”  I have so much in my head that my hubby always says when I have a headache (which is almost every day) – “You have a headache because you have so much in your head and it’s all going on at the same time!  You’re talking to me now, and I bet your brain is working on your To Do list and the conversation you had with somebody earlier–your brain just never stops!  And when your mouth is trying to keep up with your brain–geesh, I have no idea what you’re saying you’re talking way to fast for any human to understand.”  And as far as how long it takes me to write up a post – as fast as I can type it!  No drafts on paper – just from head to hands!  Kinda scary, right!  What if something pops into my head away from my computer, say in the car?  Remember that memory?  I’ll just pop a note with one or two words into my iPhone and I’m good to go.  When I get back to the computer I can just go at it.

However, there is someone near and dear to my heart who has mentioned now that I have hit a certain age that my memory may be starting to see some slipping!  I responded with, “Well, at this age as long as it’s just occasional slippage and not leakage – I’m good to go!”

The biggest part of this writing for me is to share how I try to view life’s little bumps in the road.  I have had many a major bumps and you might say—how can you find humor in that?  Oh friends, you can find humor in ANY event.  It all depends on how you want to view it.  Do you want to hold on to the pain and hurt or fear?  Or do you want to be able to deal with those same things find a little humor in them and be able to move on?  Please don’t get me wrong – there have been many times where I parked my butt right into a pit of despair and depression to deal with it all by myself.  To wallow and figure out mean spirited ways to get back at someone who’s wronged me, or to come up with a conversation to let someone have a little what for.  But I guess with age comes a sense of “why’d I let that bother me?” or “in the big picture of life, is this really all that bad?”  So, I have actually reverted back to the laughing clown I was up to my early 30’s!  Yes, I was the kid in class that usually got in trouble for giggling or better yet when I get everyone else giggling and THEY got in trouble—best day ever!  Yep, I can sit in church and the preacher will say a funny and I can’t stop the snickering to the point where loving hubby will give me the look!  (You know the one, you’ve given it to your kids!  Stop it before I beat the laugh right outta ya!)  I can usually get a laugh out of anything I do, once I step back and think about it more.  Here’s an example of a time that wasn’t really good for my riding companion – but hilarious to me……T – do you remember this?

Riding our bikes on a very busy road in Portage Lakes, we were traveling at a pretty high rate of speed going down a hill.  A huge garbage truck comes along and swerves toward us and lays on the horn thinking it was funny.  I hit the curb and it flipped me through the air and my bike went sailing another way.  My buddy was behind me, but flew past trying to control her bike as well.  When she finally slowed down and returned to where I was laying face down, she started calling my name.  I didn’t respond.  I was hurting pretty bad.  She was really scared and I could hear it in her voice.  She used her foot to sort of try to roll me over to see if I was dead!   I did what any one injured and scared bike rider would do – I rolled over and commenced into a huge belly laugh of hysterics at what I must have looked like flying through the air and what she must look like trying to see if I was dead without touching me!!!  What – was she afraid of “being biblically unclean for touching the dead”?!!  I’m pretty sure she wasn’t thinking – “I love you friend” at that moment!  If my memory serves me right, she called me a few names!  Well deserved I’m sure.

This is what I mean – ya really gotta look at stuff and find the humor in it.  I realize that some things are not funny, but there is always a reason to smile.  To be thankful for blessings.  To be grateful to God.  Maybe it won’t be at the moment you’re in it, but don’t stay there.  Stomp your foot down, hands on your hips and REFUSE to stay there.  Come out of the pain, hurt, fear or whatever and  SEEK laughter.  Look for brighter things.  Heck, if all fails – write to me and tell me the story–I’ll find something for you!  I’ll get you to laugh, really I will!

Back to the question of where do I get this stuff?  All around me, everyday!  I see it, mentally record it and keep it in my brain!  So, let this be a warning to you—you’d better be nice to me or you could end up in my blog!  Oh heck – you probably will end up in here anyway!

…and that’s all I have to say about that!

Tammy

Yeah, so there are so many directions I could go with this topic, but I will start with some thoughts on the whole potty event.  No, don’t click off and go somewhere else – stick with me – I’m not going into THAT kind of detail.  


Recently something happened to someone that had me totally crack up and I was even given permission to share here on my blog.  It went something like this….”Oh, and you can put this on your blog ’cause I know you probably will anyhow!”  Sounds like permission granted if you ask me.


There are actually two distinct potty issues that come to mind with this same person in fact.  One happened a couple of years ago at a local chain spaghetti restaurant.  This particular  restaurant is known for all the “stuff” hanging all over their walls, ceilings and obviously their bathroom walls as well.  To set the story, you need to know this friend is a male so that should tell you what “type” of toilet would be being used in this event.  A group of us were finishing dinner when this friend said he needed to use the restroom.  We finished up and I realized the person hadn’t returned, so figured he either made a longer stop or was waiting up front since we were all mostly done.  After a long while, we all made our way to the front, but I realized he wasn’t out yet, so we chatted and waited.  And waited.  Finally, I said to the others, “Do you suppose he went outside to wait?”  It was summer, so we thought maybe he was outside.  We all go out and sure enough he was in the car I was riding in.  Happy he was found we all proceeded to leave.  I got to the car and asked, “We thought you were coming back to the table – are you ok?”  He snickered and said, “Yeah, I’m ok.”  I said, “Well then why did you come out here?”  He snickered yet again and said, “You know all the stuff all over the walls? Well, they have all kinds of stuff to read in the bathroom while you’re standing there and I guess I got carried away reading, and I sort of missed!”  We then realized why he came out to the car and after a moment of respectful silence, the car burst into hysterics!  Couldn’t help ourselves.  Just saying.


So this same poor friend had a restaurant/bathroom visit again recently that brought me into uncontrollable laughter that got me to thinking.  First let me tell you about “the event”! (Laughing just remembering it!)  We were at a chicken sandwich place.  I am not finished, but he is.  He excuses himself and heads to the restroom.   A few minutes later he comes to the table chuckling to himself.  “You’ll like this, ” he says.  “Oh, and you can put this on your blog ’cause I know you probably will anyhow!”  Well, ya fool – why did you commence to tell me the story!  You KNOW I’m always up for a good laugh and since the blog is about that – you are giving me great material just with your potty adventures. Hmmm, could that be an entire book…..oh – back to the story at hand.


He has always made fun of me complaining about having to “sit down” at public places, and some are really gross.  I’m thinking – HA – LIKE YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT STANDING THERE!!  Anyway – off track again! So he begins to chuckle as he explains the adventure…


“So, I go into the only stall (men usually only get one?-who knew!) and I see the holder for the toilet seat cover and decide to use it.”  He HAS listened a little to my cootie stories!  “Since I don’t do this very often, I didn’t realize that when you carefully unfold the cover, then lay it down, undo your pants, turn around and go to sit down that the toilet has interpreted that movement in front of the sensor as –Ok, we’re done, now flush!”   “So, as I’m sitting down, it flushes and takes my cover down with it!  So, do I jump back up and get another one and put it down?  Meanwhile my pants would be at my ankles and be on the ground (no song here please) picking up more germs according to your many stories, Tammy!”


Well, I never did get the rest of the story as to how the actual story ended – go without or start over – because I’m picturing the same thing happening to me oh way too many times!  Anybody getting a picture here?  Anyone have this happen to them?  Anybody have to put down more than one seat cover and if so – how many?  Oh boy!


Therefore, this brings up some thoughts for today.  There are those out there that never use any seat covering-they feel others are germafobes, the ones that hover (my Mom was THE great hoverer!)-if you never actually touch the porcelain goddess it won’t count as getting germs, and those that use the cover if provided or toilet paper all around the seat-they are not taking any chances on possible germs.  Such dilemma just to go potty!




…and that’s all I have to say about that!


Tammy

Surrounded by the beauty of the islands we call Hawai’i,  one would think that it would be  – well – paradise.  Which in fact it is when you are a visitor.  But apparently when you live there, there are things that happen to you all the time that you learn to “just deal with” and go on.  However, if you are a midwesterner longing for this paradise and one of these blips along the way come to pass, you wonder how in the world they survive this on a regular basis.  A very regular basis we were told.

Let me set the tone so you can get a little feel for where we were physically before I go any further.  This part, in and of itself may lead to another post for another day.  For this post, I’ll just bring you to the mood du jour!   We were staying on the Big Island at a very large resort.  We had earned enough points to go again and were set to have a ball!  On this resort there are three large towers with a total of 1,240 rooms and this is spread over 62 acres, really.  This is one big mama jama!  To get back to the lobby from any of the towers or to go to any of the many amenities (pools, lagoons, dolphin encounter, restaurants, etc.) you either ride the tram, ride the boat or walk 20+ minutes (without bags, pool toys – just plain ol’ huffin’ it).  The room we were in had a beautiful view of the ocean off our lanai as well as the dolphin encounter and part of the lagoon.  Our entrance door was above the waterway the boat traveled.  In the center of this waterway were a bunch of trees and flowers that were really pretty.  We weren’t the only ones who thought so.  Argh.  So did 5 million birds!  Ok, maybe a little exaggeration – just 4 million AND A HALF!  Good gracious these birds LOVED to talk.  They tweeted and chirped until 1 am every stinking night.  Then whatever kind of breeding they had the little buggers only needed 4 hours of sleep because they were up again at 5 every stinking morning.  Ahhhhhhhhhh – enough to make you pull your hair out.  Aloha and Mahalo you little …well I can’t say that here.

So – now you get the mood we already were in.  Exhausted AND aggravated, but the best is yet to come on this beautiful, wonderful day in Frickin’ paradise!  I venture off to the shower as we are going into Kailua Kona for some shopping and looking at real estate.  Hmmm, the light for the bathroom won’t come on.  Further investigation – nothing in the room is on or will come on.  Thankfully, the phone is working and we call the front desk.  “Oh yes, the power is off Ma’am and will probably be off most of the morning.”  “Really,”  I ask? ” Oh yes, this is normal.  If you leave your room,  there will be guides around the resort to help you find your way.”   Great!  No shower – no way I’m going shopping.  So, we decide with no shower let’s just go to one of the beaches down the coast and boogie board and have some beach time.   No problem.  (Insert coughing here.)

So, lathered up with sunscreen, suits on, towels packed, boogie boards ready (yes, we lugged them from Ohio-don’t get me started) – out the door we go.  Hey – the sun comes up early here so this isn’t too bad out here.   Nobody knows us here, so they won’t notice our lovely hairdos, we’ll just say – “Going BACK to the ocean!”  Down the long hall, round the corner and to the elevator.  Uh oh – no power.  Um yeah, forgot about that when we loaded up all three of our bodies with “stuff” for the day.  However, there was a sweet little asian lady there handing out little flashlights with dim bulbs in case we may need one to get around the resort.  This is so normal for them that they pull people from the tram, boats and housekeeping to become guides.  No electricity – no work.  She asks us where we are trying to get to as best she can in her broken english – the lagoon she wonders?  We say we are heading out to the parking lot to get in the car and head to the beach.  She says, “Oh follow me I take you to parking lot short way.”  Then gestures with her hand to follow her with a funny little grin.  I mumble under my breath, “Oh no, she looked like she was out of a thriller movie leading us to our deaths…..follow me this way…hehehehehe.”  YIKES!

So, not wanting to be rude.  We follow this little Grandmotherly type lady.  Grandmothers are ok, right? She takes us down the steps and if we were to go right, within 15 minutes we would be back at the lobby and then we could walk out to the large lot where our car is.  We start to turn and she shakes her head, wiggles her finger and waves that hand – “this way” again and turns left.  We all three look at each other and I gulped and said…”Where’s she taking us – are we gonna die?”  She opens an exit door and proceeds down the steps.  Did I mention there is no power?  Did I mention the point of little flashlights with dim bulbs?  Oh – and did I tell you that WE ARE ALL LOADED TO THE GILLS WITH STUFF?

On our last visit to the resort, we were up front on the tram and were going from one end of the resort to the other so we had a long time to talk to the driver as the tram makes lots of stops to let people on and off.  He said he lived there at the resort.  He said that underneath the resort is a virtual city with the laundry facilities for the entire resort, maintenance offices and equipment, furniture storages and apartments for some of the workers who choose to live there.  He and his wife and young daughter lived there.  He said it was as big as the resort itself.

Back to following our little guide.  We keep going down the steps and end up in this huge dark maze of hallways with no lights down there and lots of noise.  I whisper to my daughter that nobody could hear us if we yelled.  She said, “We’re going to die down here!”  Then starts laughing.  Great – scare me more than I’m already scared, not to mention we are all getting a little cranky.  Did I mention we are carrying a ton of crap???  We come upon a Y in the halls and she walks up to a group of asian men standing there talking with their flashlights on as well.  They talk together in their own language and keep looking back at us and talk some more.  My witty daughter says it again…”We’re going to die!”  YEAH FROM THE ASIAN MOB DOWN HERE IN THE BOWELS OF THE RESORT!  Great, nobody even knows we are here.  Oh my gosh.

Finally, they seem to be done with their family reunion and she once again grins and gives us the little wave to “follow me”.   We have now been traveling about 40 minutes or so and are still underground.  Yes, go ahead, scroll up and see how long it would have taken us to get to the lobby which by the way, the entire hallway would have been outside if we would have turned right at the bottom of the steps.  We go another couple of minutes and she takes us to an exit door.  I think, “Please, God, forgive me for everything I’ve ever done.  Please, please, let this be the door OUT of this dark dungeon.”  Sure enough, we go up a few flights of stairs and go outside to sunlight! Whew.  No. Wait.  I know where we are!  CRAP!!!  We are on the other side of one of the pools and it ain’t  near the parking lot.  She points for us to go “that way” and go out the gate that says “No entrance, employees only”.  For real?  Now that it’s been close to an hour, we are still schlepping this beach crap, you are going to have us walk through a restricted area?  Why didn’t you bring us to this gate in the first place?  We could have gone through some other restricted areas at the bottom of those original steps instead of going through the bowels of the resort with no lights, come up on this side of the pool to have to still walk another 5 minutes to get out of the resort and into the parking area.  Did I mention we hadn’t showered?  Did I mention that it is 88 freaking degrees and I know I mentioned we had a ton of crap that we are lugging.  Whose freaking idea was it to go to the ocean anyway?  Who cares how beautiful the water is.  We are worn out.  Had we known we were going to hike almost an hour, we would have made wiser shoe choices and maybe not taken so many beach things with us.  We HAD to look like the Beverly Hillbillies going to the beach.  You don’t suppose that’s why she took us down to her Mafia people to show them do you?  They did all keep talking and looking at us, with a few chuckles.  Hmmm….

The sweet (cough, cough) little asian lady smiles and says….”Aloha”.

Aloha my…….

….and that’s all I have to say about that!

Tammy