Missing Grandma, see her in Heaven!


shespeaksconference.org

…and that’s all I have to say about that!

Tammy

Pardon the little break from laughter today, but after all, this is my blog!

As I begin writing this today my heart is so, so heavy. As I read an e-mail from a friend that her mother-in-law passed away this morning, my heart aches for her hubby as this day last year I was in the throes of dealing with the loss of my dear sweet Grandma (Mamaw Meade). She was just 46 days from her 100th birthday and I was so very blessed to have had her for so long. I am sad when I hear of people who did not know their grandparents – especially if they were anything like my Grandma.

The last three years of her life she began to not exactly know who we were, but we were obviously familiar to her and she knew we knew of “back home” in Castlewood, Virginia and the goings and comings of the folks from there. She would always ask of certain people, though she had outlived so many of them. Often she would say, “I’m really the ONLY one from back home still alive? How can that be?” Though she wasn’t always “there” when we visited, she would always tell a story (wonder where I get it from–grin!) and get my hubby, daughter and I to giggle. Sometimes just all out howl! She adored us and let me tell you the feelings were so, so mutual. I am so sad that none of my cousins ever visited her in her last 5 years at the nursing home. She would always ask why they wouldn’t come or what she did that they wouldn’t come see her. They truly missed out on some of the most precious years of Mamaw’s life. Having spent so many years with her and being very present in her life, I recognized many of the people’s name she spoke of and could tell she had wonderful memories that she held dear to her heart. Then there were the stories that my hubby and daughter would look to me for “proof” and I would smile and shake my head no. Of course she would just travel down that road on that story as long as we would let her…and let her we did. She was quite good at the story telling! I think now my family realizes how I can take a “subject” and run with it! And as my daughter would say..”FOREVER!”

It is very difficult writing this today as trying to read and type through tears isn’t easy. However, I am reminded of Psalm 23:4 – “Even thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” I know my sweet Mamaw is with Jesus. We always talked of our faith in Jesus as our Savior. Growing up, we would always banter back and forth that whoever gets to Heaven first will pick out their mansion and put the one next door on reserve for the other. We would quote John 14:2 & 3 – “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am there you may be also.” Jesus told this to his disciples. Grandma and I would say we are daughters of the King so we will be getting our mansions in Heaven, too, and be next door forever! Oh, I can’t wait until I see Mamaw Meade again!!

I will share some Grandma Giggles with you on this blog in the future, I promise. But for today, I am in my own little world with Grandma and missing her so very, very much.

On another note, please add me to your prayer list as I seek what God would have me to do in the next season of my life. The encouragement so many of you have already given on this adventure of writing has truly warmed my heart! I am looking forward to learning “what’s next?” as I attend the shespeaksconference.com in July in North Carolina. This conference will be for women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God through speaking, writing and serving. It is my desire to serve Him, His daughters and go where He leads me on this second half of my life. Also, check out this site as well: aholyexperience.com.  It is a great site and I have the music from it playing in the background as I write my blog today. Some of you may not know this, but I played piano in my younger years so I am always a sucker for piano music. That’s the background music on that site…travel over and give it a listen, it’s beautiful.

Please do me another favor. If you still have your Grandma here – please, please go and give her a big hug. Sit and visit with her a while. She loves you. She would love some time with you I bet. If you, like me, don’t have your Grandma here – will you go dig out a picture of her today and think back to some wonderful times you had with her. Grandmas are one of the wonderful gifts from God that all of us had at some point in our lives. If you never knew your Grandma like my hubby, find a Grandma who could use a visit. And you know what I always say…look for a reason to make someone smile. Now, go make a smile!

I love you Mamaw Meade.

…and that’s all I have to say about that.

Tammy

What?  Following who’s prompting?  Glad you asked that question!

For a while now, I’ve been really wondering….”What do I want to be when I grow up?”  I’ve tried many things through the years and have enjoyed so many of them.  And then some of them, um – not so much!  However, no matter what I’ve done I’ve always seemed to have a journal and pen nearby scribbling anything from cool sayings I want to remember, to keeping track of my health numbers and everything in between!  Those of you who know me,  know—I love pens and markers!  I’m always finding new pens or markers to try out and of course it’s more than just a scribble on a piece of scratch paper!  I need to write something more than that!  I’ve got stuff to say for goodness sake!

After reaching “that” age almost two years ago now, I really started praying more—“Lord, what do you want me to do with my life, for you.”  I’ve shared with a few people close to me about this and little by little over the 2010 year, it became clear that it is time for me to go back to my writing.  That’s why I began my blog in January (that and the fact that the daughter said–“just do it”!)  My comments to my family was “Nobody will read it and nobody will like it”.  To those of you who are now following me both listed on my Followers log and those not yet signed up – I thank you!  I thank you for all your kind words and for coming back to see what I’m writing next!  Thank you, thank you!

I really want to delve into writing and know I need more direction.  I recently came across a terrific blog after reading a great book “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst.  Seeing she had a blog listed in the back of the book, I went to check out more about her.  Little did I know that it was for sure a Godincidence as I ran into more than just a blog about her.  Actually, I was checking out her blog while at the office. (I work for hubby who is a Licensed Massage Therapist and was surfing at work!  Nice to know the boss real well!)  What I found on Lysa’s blog almost made me scream!  I had to go to the back of the office and do a little happy dance so I wouldn’t disrupt the massage in session!

I found on her blog  (www.LysaTerKeurst.com) a link to something super special.  I found a link to a conference for speaking and writing!  WOOT WOOT!  I found a place to get some additional assistance in where to go from here.  The site for this is,  www.shespeaksconference.com I’m so excited and am making plans and getting my ducks in a row to be able to go in July to the conference in Charlotte, NC.

Why am I telling you all this?  I’m asking a favor!  I am entering a contest to win one of two scholarships to attend the conference.  I am asking for all of you to pray for me!  First, pray that I might win the scholarship.  But, if I don’t win, pray that the path would be made clear to be able to attend the conference.  For any of you that might be inclined to improve your speaking, writing or women’s leadership skills – pray that maybe you might want to go as well.  If this is something you might be thinking about–please click on the blogs listed above about this event.

Thanks again for all your encouragement!  I am truly grateful for your kind words.  Pray I win!

…and that’s all I have to say about that!

Tammy