More Humor from the “Purse” Trip!

If you didn’t read the blog post regarding the “Purse” Trip, scroll back now so you can get into the zone of the personalities of some folks involved!  Go ahead, I’ll wait……

Back?  Ok, good.  Here we go!

If you’ll remember one of the ladies I described at each of the airports – she was the one that would pace until we got onto the plane and the flight attendant made her take her seat as we were about to taxi back for take off.  Remember?  Good.  Please keep this thought in your mind as I begin to share one of the relaxed and enjoyable evenings at our friend’s condo at the beach.  Giggling even before I begin with this one!

All five of us ladies were lounging around the condo one of the evenings.  It had been an eventful day with some site seeing, time walking on the beach (wonderful!!), laying by the pool.  We had had dinner already and were just filled to the brim with joy.  No really, not kidding.  We were so filled with such a wonderful day spent together.  Too tired to do any more but yet too awake to go to bed.  We decided a night of no TV,  just visiting.  We thought it would be great to get to know each other and our backgrounds because not all of us had known each other long.  A couple did, but it was still fun learning new things about each other.  However, after about a half hour, the “airport pacer” decided – too much for the day, she was tired and headed for bed.

We are all literally lounging all over the living room furniture.  Stretched out and hanging over furniture – you know the style – the way you instruct your children not to sit on the furniture!  Yeah – that’s the way we were lounging!  We were sharing stories and laughing.  Sharing stories and crying.  Sharing stories and advising.  You know the drill.  Just a great night of lady fellowship.

When I noticed something.

Something big.

Something black.

And crawling across the ceiling.

Now to know me is to know I don’t like bugs, spiders or snakes.  I will do my very best to rid the area of them.  In any way that I can!  Seriously.

Not to alarm anyone (ha!), I quietly, but rather quickly got up and went closer to inspect this moving spot on the ceiling.  One of the ladies said, “What are you doing?”  Then looked the direction I was looking up and said, “OH MY GOSH – THAT’S HUGE!  WHAT IS IT?!”  To which the other two left in the room turn around, jump to their feet and scream.

Well, knowing what little I knew of Miss “airport pacer”, I knew if she woke up and saw this she’d freak out totally.  She dislikes bugs 10 times worse then me.  I quickly ran into the kitchen to get a broom.  Our friend, the owner, quickly asked, “What are you going to do with the broom?  You’re not going to fling it on us are you?”  I said, “No, I’m going to smash it’s guts out and kill it.”  She jumped up yelling, “NO, don’t smash it on my ceiling, I’ll have to clean it – wait, I’ll get the bug spray.”  I’m thinking – that won’t kill it as I’m still looking up, keeping my eye on the huge moving target.  Side note here – never look up with your mouth open.  Moving on….

She comes running back and instantly sprays the bug spray up at the ceiling (like she’s not going to have to clean that off-ha) and the spray ricochets off the ceiling and…..yep – into my open mouth.  Of course, the huge bug falls, too.  BUT THANKFULLY NOT IN MY MOUTH!!  I say to my friend,  “Thanks – that was nice of you to try to feed me the bug!!” After we all say sorry and move on, we realize we have lost Mr. Huge Bug.  Mind you we are no longer quiet and Miss “airport pacer” is yelling from her room..”You guys be quiet.  What’s going on out there anyway?”  The other lady, not involved in the spraying, finding or catching team decides she had better barricade her bedroom door so she doesn’t just come out and find out what huge bug we have now lost somewhere in the area…..near her door!

Then a discussion ensues as to what I plan on doing with the broom when I find the bug.  I exclaim, “I’m going to smash that sucker.”  “Not on my beige carpet you’re not!’ she says.  “Well, do you want me to pick it up with my bare hands and smash it?”  From behind the bedroom door we hear, “Pick up what and smash what? Is there some kind of bug out there?  Let me out, I want to see how big this is!”  All four of us simultaneously yell – “NO!”  She keeps trying to open the door, but the door guard does a great job of keeping her securely inside the safety of her room!

So, I decide I’ll just get two disposable cups and scoop it up.  Oh yeah, one must find it first!  I’m not squeamish about smashing or “ridding” bugs, but apparently a few of us in the crowd are and have decided there is no way I’m going to be able to scoop it up with cups without it touching me.  YUCK!!  After a few minutes of “No, you can’t” – “Yes, I can” back and forth I see the bug out of the corner of my eye and just quietly continue the banter as I move in for the kill!  However, the one that knows me the best says – “Do you see it? You look like you see it?”  I quietly shake my head and move toward the chair that she is leaning on as it crawls ever so slowly up the leg of the chair.  The condo owner friend now realizes where I’m heading and jumps over to move the chair for a better view for me and the bug falls.  Uh huh, right on my friend’s foot and stays a second as we all freeze.  As we are all staring in silence, the bedroom prisoner yells – “Why is it so quiet out there?  Did you get it?”  Then my friend with a new friend finally ends her silence and jumps, flings it off of her foot  and screams, followed by four other loud screams – one from each of the other ladies. Not me – I’m on a mission.

Meanwhile, I decide now’s my chance to go in for the kill.  Er capture.  They are all busy screaming and re-screaming while I scoop and run.  I ran for the bathroom as I think the bug might like to go for a swim.  However, they are all following me as I’m walking briskly to the bathroom and the fellow decides to move in the cup.  Realizing I have a huge bug in these two little cups placed together to keep him from running – I jump a little and end up dropping the bug out of the cup.

Yes, more screams.  I’m not real nice at this point and say, “STOP yelling, he’s not touching anybody!”
I quickly scoop him up near the bathroom door and send him sailing to the toilet. (Hey, those years of playing softball and scooping and throwing to the other players for a play came in handy!!–lesson’s of life!!)  As I reach for the handle to flush – the condo owner yells, “Wait, don’t flush, this is our bathroom.” FLUSH.  Too late!  It’s not the bathroom I use!! My other friend and I are fine with that!

Since the four of us are now hovering over the toilet, the bedroom door has been left unattended and Miss “airport pacer” has broke free.  She comes up behind us and says, “Lemme see, how big was he?” We love her too much and we all say, “Oh, not too big at all.”  The three that will be using this bathroom start saying, “Do you think he’ll stay down there?  He can’t get back up, can he?  What if during the night we are using it and he has crawled back out of the toilet and is in the bathroom?”

Then I notice.

I begin to laugh in hysterics.

They all start asking what’s so funny.  I can hardly tell them.  I just point to our bedroom escapee and they turn around to look too.  She has been sleeping for about 2 hours.  She is fully clothed including socks AND SHOES.  She gets mad at us and as she walks back to her room, before she slams it shut she exclaims – “You all said there are no bugs in the house, it is exterminated monthly. Ha, well at least if that bug would have gotten in MY bed, I would have been covered! So there!” Slam.

We all pause.  Then look at each other and laugh again.  We all move to the living room and take our comfy spots again.  We realize this has taken us over an hour to rid ourselves of a huge Cock Roach.  Oh, excuse me – as Southerner’s call them…Palmetto Bugs.  A cock roach is a cock roach!

We make bets as to how long Miss “airport pacer” will stay in the room before getting freaked out to know if there are any more bugs and will slowly join us.  Surprisingly, she never did.

My advice to you when you are traveling with others…..make a plan of attack (literally) as to how you will rid yourself of unwanted visiting critters before you get a mouth full of bug spray!

…and that’s all I have to say about that!


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