Must I Drop Food On My Shirt All The Time?

Seriously.  Come on.  It seems like every time I eat lately, I spill something down the middle of my shirt.  It became a joke when I was pregnant a very long time ago, that no matter what I was eating, the very last bite I would always spill onto my shirt.  Every. Stinkin’. Time.

Then the dripping went away.  But, it has returned.

And NO, I am not with child again!

Recently, hubby and I were out to eat and it happened again.  The very last bite of my noodles I spilled down the front of my shirt.  I laughed and said, I think I’m going to start buying only patterned shirts so this won’t show.  One way to fix it would be to not eat, but that would not be something I could do for very long for oh so many reasons!

One time we were reminiscing about how I spilled food on my shirts when I was pregnant.  We started laughing about how many of my maternity shirts had little spots on the center of the front of the shirt.  I guess it was a good thing I didn’t have a second child, as I would have had to have all new shirts again!

Then I remembered a story an old friend had told me about spilling down the front of her shirt at a restaurant and it made me crack up.  I so would have liked to have witnessed it, but picturing it was quite funny as well.

My friend and her family were eating at a local burger joint in our area known for a good greasy burger.  (Is that actually an oxymoron?) They were all enjoying their lunch after church.  My friend made a point to tell me that she had on a beautiful new, expensive white silk blouse that she was wearing for the first time.

Then it happened.

She dribbled a little grease right in the center of her “girls”.  Yep – right smack dab in the front and center of the shirt.  No way it could be covered with anything.  She tried to wipe it off, but it only made the spot bigger.

She said she just ignored it and went on to finish her lunch as they had all just gotten started.

Then it happened.  Again.

This time, a little ketchup dribbled right near the grease spot.  Not on it, but just to the side so that it was obvious it was a different spot.  She became frustrated.  Her husband just told her not to worry about it and finish her lunch, he would walk in front of her going out of the restaurant and nobody would see the spots.

Then it happened.  Again!

At this point, she became so ticked off after only four bites of her burger that what she did next must have been priceless to be sitting in the restaurant and watch a grown woman do this.

She removed the top bun of the burger and began to smear the burger and it’s toppings all over her brand-new, white silk blouse!  She said she used both hands to take both halves of the burger and smear it all over her chest.  I mean, can you imagine seeing some lady do this in a restaurant?  Of course this just tickled me as I pictured her madder than a hornet and smearing the burger all over herself in a fit of rage.

When she had finished, she threw the food to the plate and asked if everyone else was finished as she believed it was time to go.  Her family was so in shock, she said her two young daughters shook their heads and quit eating and promptly got up and headed for the door.  Her hubby hung his head as he paid the bill and joined them at the car.

There was no way I could stop laughing at what this might have looked like to watch.  I can’t help but to think about this often when I start dripping food on my shirt.

So, if we should ever be eating together and I drip something on my shirt, please hold me back from picking up my food and smearing it all over myself, okay?

…and that’s all I have to say about that!

Do you have a funny food issue to share?  Please share with all of us here, we’d love the laugh!


2 thoughts on “Must I Drop Food On My Shirt All The Time?

  1. If it’s ALWAYS the last bite, the solution is OBVIOUS! Don’t eat the last bite!
    Happens to me, too. And I can honestly say, I can wear my stains on my chest with pride because the alternative is to be skinny and it all drops on your lap. I’ve seen it. I have skinny friends. I prefer to not have to explain ketchup stains on my crotch.

  2. I have laughed about the skinny friends with ketchup in the nether region since you posted it! I chuckled to myself the other day when spilling soup – AGAIN – and just said out loud…it could have landed somewhere else, but that doesn’t seem likely for obvious reasons!

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